I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
