STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
