My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
