i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
