Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
