i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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