if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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