Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
