rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
