I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
