Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
