somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
