found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
