I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
