That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
