do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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