now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
