I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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