this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
