"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
