PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
