he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
