but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
