Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
