Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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