I want to have your abortion
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
