Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
