We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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