I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
