im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize