And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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