I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
