Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
