Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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