i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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