I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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