2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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