so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
