remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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