You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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