She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
