its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
