this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
