so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
