Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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