Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
