So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dicks are not precious.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
