I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
