Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
