shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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