So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
